pregnant dogs and cats
i have been around a few pregnant dogs and cats. i always feel very sorry for them even though they probably don’t care. i would care a lot if i were a dog or cat. i would think, “ugh my life is over.” just kidding.
initially i thought this prompt was why do pregnant dogs text? i think they would probably need to text because if they try to bark or talk, they could end up burping out half of a puppy or whatever. they might want to have this text exchange:
dog — hey person, I need to go outside to use the restroom
person — for number 1, 2, or 3 ?
dog — not sure
person — well okay. let me open the door for you
dog — :-)
or if the person is at work all day (dying) and the dog’s water broke, they might need to have this exchange:
dog — hey hey hey person! my body is feeling so weird and i’m twisting around in tiny circles and i feel really gross. please help me!
person — yuck, okay i’ll come home as soon as i can
the person might have this exchange with their boss:
person — my pregnant dog just sent me a text and i think her water broke!
boss — okay well if you leave, you have to use one of your 8 PTO days per year. i will probably pretend like it’s not a big deal right now, but once you leave i will tell everybody that you’re lazy.
person — okay that sounds good. i’ll see you tomorrow!
boss — okay send me some fetus pics!
i think a dog’s cellphone would be exactly like a person cellphone, only much larger. they would have to use an iPhone (like senior citizens) because android menus would be too confusing for them.
